Оne evening Stephanie scrolled through Facebook and came across something she didn’t want to see. Although she tried to ignore it, her heart did not allow her to keep silent.
She entered the profile and clicked “send a message”.
“Hi, I was hoping I would never see your face. I was really trying to avoid any situation to find out who you are and what your name is, but social media has done its thing. I am sure you heard of me since we have a mutual friend. I didn’t recognize you, but I recognized the man standing next to you in the profile picture. So I decided to contact to you. I know you are currently wondering how I dare, but I am asking you to read what I have to say. I promise you I am not your boyfriend’s ex-wife who is stalking you. I am neither jealous nor sad.
You seem like a good and kind woman and you look so happy. You look just like me a few years ago when I stood next to the man you stand now. You probably have a picture of a bright future with him in your head as well. But I have to tell you that my ex-husband is not the man who presents himself to be. He’s not the charismatic, caring person you think you found him to be. I’m sure he lied to you about the cause of our divorce and I’m sure you’ve heard pretty bad things about me and his family. You must have believed him and I am not blaming you.
I trusted him as well when I was in your place. He is so skilled in deceiving himself and making himself a victim in every situation. He must have told you that he had a pretty bad childhood and that his father abused him in every way possible. I too believed those stories. I know you see him as the brittle bird you want to save. Right? But I want to tell you one thing, you can not save him. And I believe there is no human being on earth who can do it at all. It’s going to be the best period of your life, a year or two, or maybe five, and everything will change all of a sudden. He will stop laughinga and he won’t be happy to see you anymore. He will become frustrated and angry all the time. And it will be your fault. Always you fault. You will be guilty of his misfortune. At times he will apologize and he will promise you it won’t happen again, but believe me it will.
Every word that came out of his mouth, I still carry it on my back as a burden. You won’t notice when you’ll stop seeing your family, friends, relatives …
All of a sudden you will be left with no one, only the man who will abuse you and make you feel guilty about everything. He’s a master at doing that. He will try to change you, but please don’t let him. When you’ll sense that you are away from your loved ones, it will be too late. You will try to make him feel good and loved, since his family never did. But let me make this clear: He did have it all. He had and he still has the most wonderful family.
But he never appreciated what they did for him. Just like he won’t appreciate you soon, I can promise you that. He had it all, and he had it all since he was a child, but no one is good enough for him. I am sorry to tell you this, but you and your family will never be good enough. Not for this type of man.
I am still healing, to this day. The truth about this man is simple: He does not know how to love. He believes in love that is not real at all, and that is why he will never be happy and satisfied. And believe me, when he isn’t happy really bad things can happen. Things that can leave you scarred for the rest of your life.
It will take me forever to name every horrible thing that occurred throughout our marriage, and I don’t think you want to hear it. And I don’t want to ever go back down that road since I am still trying to recover, and it will take me longer if I won’t stop reliving it.
The wounds on my body have healed, but the scars that have remained are deep.
I wanted to say I am sorry. I am sorry that I allowed him to believe that he was worthy of love. I am sorry that his lies and his games were so convincing, I am sorry to let this man be free to find you.
I have nothing to gain from telling you this. My life is peaceful and complete. I am in a loving relationship that has shown me what true love is.
Think about everything I wrote, and I hope you’ll choose a scar-free and happy life.
One of the hardest things to do in life, is letting go of what you thought was real. The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize the situation is over, you cannot move forward.