One night, just after dinner, John’s son came up to tell him that there was something wrong with one of the two lizards he was taking care of in his room.
“Daddy, he’s just lying there looking unwell”, he told John looking concerned.
“Please daddy, can you please help him. We need to find out what’s wrong with him!”
John tried to hide his lack of enthusiasm and followed his son David, into his bedroom.
When they both got in the room, one of the lizards was indeed lying on his back looking ill. He immediately called his wife to get a third opinion about their boy’s pet.
“Oh my god!”, John’s wife shouted. “I think he’s going to be a mother. I think he is going to give birth.”
“That’s not possible! But I gave them boy’s names! Charlie and Darwin!”
John looked equally surprised.
He looked at his wife and asked her accusingly, “I thought we agreed on something. We said we didn’t want them to reproduce.”
“What did you want me to do, guys? I guess I am not an expert.”
John sensed she said that in a sarcastic way.
“No one said you are Susan, but you were supposed to get two males!”, said John. “Yes mom! Charlie and Darwin!”, David shouted.
“Well, yeah… but sometimes it’s a little hard to tell on some guys, you know…”, said Susan in a sarcastic way, as John predicted.
By that time, the whole family gathered to see what’s following. “Everyone, pay attention, this is going to be a lifetime experience! We are about to witness the miracle of birth!” said John proudly.
“That’s so gross!” yelled the kids. After a minute, what looked like a tiny foot appeared briefly, vanishing almost instantly. “This seems like it’s going to take a while.” noted John. “This looks like a breech to me!” added Susan. “Hurry up, dad! Do something!” urged David.
“All right, all right, here we go.” said John, almost nauseated grabbing the foot and giving it a gentle tug. And once again it disappeared. He tried several times, but with the same results.
“We should call 911!” added the eldest daughter. “We should maybe take Charlie to the vet.” spoke John.
While driving to the vet, David was holding the cage in his lap shouting, “You can do it Charlie, just breathe, breathe Charlie!”
When they arrived, the vet took Charlie back to the examining room. He peered at the lizard’s belly through a magnifying glass.
“What do you think, doctor? Will Charlie need a C-section?” John suggested scientifically.
“Hmm, very interesting.” mumbled the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. White can I have a word with you, privately?”
David left the room.
“Is Charlie going to be okay?” asked Susan worryingly.
“Charlie is going to be perfectly fine. He is not in labor and he’ll never be since he is a male. You know, he is a young male and as he matures, he wants to um… he wants to pleasure himself. Just they way he did, lying on his back.”
Susan broke the silence in the room and asked, “So, Charlie was just… excited?”
“That is right.” the vet replied with relief. Everyone went silent again.
A minute passed when Susan started giggling. And then even laugh loudly. Tears were running down her cheeks while trying to speak, “I just can’t… You were pulling on its… its… tiny teeny…”, she couldn’t finish the whole sentence since she was gasping for more air.
“Okay, that is enough.” John warned. They thanked the vet and put the cage in their car in a hurry. Their son was glad everything was going to be okay as before.
“Daddy, Charlie is really thankful for what you did for him, he just told me.”, said David.
“Oh honey, you have NO idea!” Susan agreed, again collapsing with laughter.
Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs!