No woman in this world should be put in a position where she does not feel safe. No one should be allowed to cross the line of someone else’s privacy.
The story of Joanna Meyers, that follows, is really controversial. Joanna is one of the countless women in the world who found herself in a situation like this one, but maybe is one of the few to openly speak on the subject. There are various traditions in the world when it comes to marriage. She thought she heard it all, but she did not think she would feel it on her own skin.
As soon as her boyfriend asked her to marry him, they continued to plan the wedding for the next few months. Joanna always dreamed of that day and wanted it to be perfect. At that point she was sure he was the man of her dreams, and she had no doubt she would have a great life with him. Their deal was to not have sex until they get married. They both agreed on that.
Everything was going pretty great. Every plan about the wedding that she had envisioned came to fruition.
Three nights before the wedding, her fiancé told her he wanted to talk with her. They sat down on the couch in the living room, he grabbed her hand and said, “Joanna I have something to tell you. Something about me that is really important.”
Her eyes sparkled.
“Years and years before I was born, my family really respected this tradition…”
“What tradition, honey? What is it? Tell me. “- Joanna asked impatiently.
“Well, in our case, my father it’s supposed check if you really are a virgin and it must be done in front of my family.” – he replied.
Joanna started laughing out loud.
“You must be joking!” – she replied.
A few minutes passed when she realized that he was being dead serious. The whole time she thought he was joking but he was serious, and he really meant it. He really expected her to do that.
“I know it will be slightly embarrassing for you honey, but even my mother did it before she married my father.”
Joanna started walking around the room not knowing what to say nor think. She looked at her fiancé, astonished by his demanding.
“Joanna don’t make this harder for me than it already is. Don’t you think that this a way to prove my family how much you love me?”
At this point the only thing she wanted to do is to leave the house and try to think this through by herself. So, she did.
After a day of thinking she wrote him a letter.
“My beloved fiancée, I never thought I would find myself in a situation like this, but I don’t think you’ve tried to imagine how would this make me feel. How would I feel if I had to spread my legs in front of your father and all your relatives? Does this need to happen? I am so confused I am not even sure sure why I am writing you this letter. The father of my husband-to-be needs to examine my genitals just to prove something? Why do women in this modern-day and age even have to prove anything to anyone? Why do I have to prove it? Whom do I have to prove it? Let me be honest with you, this seems like a pure manipulation and this has nothing to do with love. It has nothing to do with what I thought we had, a sincere and pure love. As of right now I believe that I should be more protective of myself since I don’t want to be a part of someone else’s contorted beliefs. I am trying my best to be calm and rational, and this is the only rational thing that came to my mind. I hope you will respect my decision by not trying to contact me ever again. I hope you’ll have a great life.”
She sent the letter and she never heard from him again. Joanna was right, it was never about love.
She is still learning how to walk away from situations or people who threaten her peace of mind, self-respect, or self-worth.
Leaving someone you love is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but if they are not treating you right it’s the right thing to do.